


Till Dawn

by hatouji



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 10:04:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16951947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatouji/pseuds/hatouji
Summary: For some reason, she kept running back into his arms.





	Till Dawn

Rook rested her head on his chest, the skin still slightly damp with sweat, heaving to catch a breath. An arm was wrapped around her and he was stroking her hair lazily, gently. The other was around her waist, holding her close. Her heart was in her throat, still thudding, deafening but at that moment there was nothing better than being held in those sweaty arms.

Rook’s eyes slowly flickered open to see him gazing down at her lovingly, making her feel slightly self-conscious. He looked at her like he just saw the second coming of Christ. Like she was the most amazing being in existence. He probably thought so too. As though she wasn’t the enemy, as though he hadn’t just made love to the woman who was going to doom them all.

He leaned down to press a kiss to her crown, pressing his nose to her hair for a moment. It didn’t really smell like anything. She hadn’t had a chance to wash it in a while so it wasn’t in a particularly good state yet he closed his eyes and took it in, all the same, trying to ingrain it in his memory. Something to keep him going when she wasn’t in his arms. He pulled away reluctantly and gave a sigh, suddenly seeming troubled. The after was always the hardest because when he recovered from his post-sex bliss, he began thinking.

Rook watched him as his face slightly fell and she reached a hand to stroke his bearded cheeks wordlessly, trying to provide some comfort though she knew exactly what was going through his head. There was nothing he could say in these moments. No amount of begging would convince her and no matter the amount of pain in her heart, she would not let herself succumb to his sugared words and loving touches filled with promise. She wasn’t allowed to have this.

He was so much more animated in these moments, more human when he didn’t have to be the Father, when nobody relied upon him, when it was just him and her and their love, pure. It was scary how easy it was to forget all of the godawful things he had done, how conveniently she brushed it all aside and forgot her morals. He was so vulnerable. At any moment she could take her pistol, squeeze the trigger soft and end it all but she was selfish and she desperately wanted this.

She’d leave at dawn, not before pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead and trek out to continue liberating the county and making his life harder. The Deputy would continue ruining his plans, Rook would be longing for him. When her friends would slander his name, mock him, make threats, she wouldn’t defend him. She couldn’t. 

And every time she left, guilt weighed upon her conscience when she saw the bodies plastered on the billboards, Joey’s dead eyes when recalling the events in John’s bunker, when she heard the blood-curdling screams echoing as the Peggies killed innocents. She wanted to cry and yet every week, she’d return dutifully into the safety of his arms. She swore and lied to herself that every time would be the last and yet she kept forsaking her common sense, always running back to him at the same time and place in the dead of the night. She knew that this would only end when he was locked up or dead.

“Stay.” The silence was broken with a quiet but useless plea from him. She sighed at conversation to come.

He knew he would never get the answer that he wanted and yet he continued to try, continued to pray. She wriggled slightly up the bed so that her face was level with his and pressed her forehead to his like she saw him do with his brothers time and time again. That meant a no. 

He murmured something illegible to her. She didn’t need to hear to know what it was. She couldn’t parrot the words back to him. Not yet. Not ever. This was temporary, she tried to convince herself. Everything was temporary. She would leave in the morning and continue to pretend like she didn’t love the very man that was killing and torturing her friends and that the idea of killing him didn’t make her heartache. The beautiful, dangerous, man that filled her heart with love until it overflowed.

“I love you” he repeated, pulling himself away to look deeply at her. She swore she heard his voice crack slightly, hated that he always did this to her. His eyes bore into her very soul.

“Please stay” he begged. She shook her head with a sad smile.

“You know I can’t do that. But I’ll be back. I always come back” her voice got softer until it was almost a murmur “though I probably shouldn’t.”

“But I don’t want just a day of the week with you. I want you, all of you for all of eternity.” His hold on her tightened as he raised his voice slightly. 

“Don’t you think you’re asking for a little too much?” He frowned at that and averted his gaze, sighing.

“You can keep destroying our silos, taking our outposts if it makes you happy. But I just want you to come back to me when the days are done. I’ll make you a meal, I’ll hold you, I’ll love you. I want to fall asleep to you, wake up to you. I’ll give you everything and anything you want. Let me have this. Let yourself have this.” Rook didn’t realise she had started crying until he reached to brush the tears away from her face.

“You know I can’t” she repeated in a whisper, more as a reminder to herself than to him “would you really stop all of Eden's Gate’s activities for me?”

“I’m keeping you safe” he insisted, getting visibly frustrated “all I do is to keep us safe, keep you safe. You know I can’t stop.”

“So you murder innocent families to keep me safe?” He didn’t respond. “You know I can’t stay, and I know that you won’t, can’t stop what you’re doing. That's why we can’t have this. I have to stop you.”

“You don’t need to be a saviour, my love.”

“I don’t see anyone else ready to do the shit I do” she sniffed.

“Okay,” he murmured into her hair, bringing her face into the crook of his neck, stroking her back in soothing motions “we won’t talk about this anymore. Just” he paused, letting out a shaky breath “stay for breakfast in the morning?” She hummed, contemplating. Every part of her was screaming to take him up on the offer but the voice of reason reminded her that it was dangerous, stupid, wrong. Peggies would shoot the Deputy on sight if they saw her roaming around their precious Father’s dwellings in broad daylight. More importantly, if she indulged, she could start giving more and more into him. 

“I’ll make sure you can leave safely afterwards” he assured. She pressed her lips together. Why was it so hard when she wanted this so badly? A defeated whispered “okay” and he beamed at her, eyes crinkling in happiness as though she had just promised him the world. In a rush of excitement, he pressed small kisses all over her face. She couldn’t help but smile, laugh, carefree, as his beard tickled her all over. She let herself be happy with the man she loved for a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> In which I display my thirst for Joseph Seed and how much I want him to hold me. Some angsty fluff here today that was largely inspired by the song Optimistic by Cehryl which goes perfectly with this fanfic. I highly recommend it, not necessarily to accompany the writing but because it’s just beautiful! I didn’t quote it or directly write based upon it but it gave me the idea for the scene and the emotions in it. Music has been inspiring me of late so in the same vein, I directly quoted a song called Lovelawn by Willie J Healey where I wrote “squeeze the trigger soft” simply because I liked the imagery of that phrase. I had a lot of fun writing this. Angst always comes so easily to me but fluff makes me happy. Feedback and any comments are as always really appreciated!


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